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Adam Shields's avatar

I so very much feel this. I have only attended 2 churches as an adult (I turn 50 next week). I am a spiritual director. I used to work for a local denominational office. I am ordained. Much of my family are pastors. And I haven't been in Sunday morning church service in 3 years. I don't want to leave church, but I am having a hard time finding a place where I can actually be. I am committed to try because of my kids. But I am also reluctant to get into the wrong place because of my kids.

I don't feel particularly far from God. I think my spiritual life is relatively healthy. But I feel far from church community because I just don't really trust that the church communities around me. I have friends that are pastors that I love and trust. But I want to be in a community that isn't 40 minutes away.

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Judy Wu Dominick's avatar

I'm with you one hundred percent, Adam, especially the part about the kids. It's weird to have such a wasteland feel when there's the appearance of excess (a church on every corner, a hundred denominations to choose from, resources galore, etc). I'm slowly working through the complex layers of this reality.

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Lore Wilbert's avatar

Me too. Me too.

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E.L Sherene Joseph's avatar

Oh I feel this so much! I am not even sure who recommended your Substack to me? We have common friends and I just read your recent post on moving back to the East Coast and then went on a rabbit hole down your other pieces. I can resonate with SO MANY of them. I wish I had met you when you were in Dallas!

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Erika Tovi's avatar

You’ve expressed what I haven’t yet found words for. I’m with you in these very big and deep emotions on this topic. But I think you know that—as it’s what connected us in the first place. 😌 Whenever I read what you’ve written, I just want to thank you. You’re a generous writer and I recognize that can’t be easy.

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Pam Graham's avatar

This sounds like the beginning of a story of myself that is happening right now.

You’re an amazing writer!

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