Rapid Unplanned Disassembly
I first heard the term “rapid unscheduled disassembly” (RUD)1 used in 2023 during the broadcast of a SpaceX starship launch. As my husband and I watched it explode over the Gulf of Mexico, I remarked, “Whoa, it just blew up!” But the SpaceX announcer who was covering the launch sounded utterly unbothered and stated something along the lines of, “As we can see, Flight 1 has experienced a rapid unscheduled disassembly.” This line was repeated in SpaceX’s official tweet:
As if the flight test was not exciting enough, Starship experienced a rapid unscheduled disassembly before stage separation.
I found the euphemism more amusing than most. What an impassive way to describe something so violent and destructive!
During some recent travel, I started playing around with the idea of using RUD to refer to cataclysmic life events like unemployment, incarceration, divorce, disillusionment, betrayal, serious illness, death, etc. I chose to experiment using the limerick as a device because of its singsongy nature and its historic function as a violator of taboos. I ended up using “rapid unplanned disassembly” instead of “rapid unscheduled disassembly” because the number of syllables worked better. The end result was this short collection of limericks.
I.
Jane worked in factory assembly
Where her delicate hands toiled nimbly
'Til one day it closed
While complacents they dozed
'Twas a rapid unplanned disassembly
II.
Miranda and Dan wed in Wembley
Made a life for themselves in Lambley
But Dan did a crime
Twenty years was his time
'Twas a rapid unplanned disassembly
III.
Lou was a hero to Charlie
So smart, so gifted, so burly
But this image of him
Grew tragically dim
The moment Lou proved to be dodgy
IV.
There once was a tackler named Henry
Who had power and speed and agility
Then his arm grew a tumor
It wasn't a rumor
But a rapid unplanned disassembly